Whatever for would i be insecure about you when i've already have myself in his heart? And to know that his feelings over you has already faded?

Did i ever mention or show that i was insecure?
I've said, for all the times you msged and called, i was there by his side. he showed me and tell me everything. And did i even try to fight with you? giving you a call and asked whats your problem? NO.

I don't know whats your damn problem zalikha. were you hurt to see me and nick together on that carnival that much till you have to brought this up on me?
If it isnt, why the cold harshness towards me? Sampai display nick smue nak maki2.

Padahal, it was a short entry and you mistook yourself as if i said i hated you that much. Its in general. And i started out with "kindda hate any girls who tries to make any form of connection to my bf too" Obviously im mad at those girls who has been contacting him recently, and apparently, amira was a girl from his past too. And that was the reason "hating his past" came in the second line.

Now tell me, Were you contacting him? were you making any connection? NO RITE?!

Gahhh... -__-" Now, FOR ALL THIS PROBLEMS, speak for yourself for the childish mindset. Like i say, i know i should'nt have to worry about who's childish, because for all i've heard, from nick, from fareez and in fact all of his woodgrove friends, i've heard enough that you are born to pick a fight over all this little little things and not give in for you know you are wrong and you fight till you've ran out of point. You just don't stop do you.

I blaber and i blaber, and all you thought about was my intention of, making you hurt. Thats all you can think about, cruelty, hatred, revenge. Where I actually blaber to make you realise and put it in your damn brains that, THAT POST WAS'NT MEANT FOR YOU. but you were too ignorant being mad and insisted that it was meant for you and wanted to dissed me even more. and ok fine then, the last time i check, I WAS ZALIKHA WRITING THAT ENTRY. -___- You are just degil arent you? Wanting the whole attention on you, and trying to seek pitiness from ur bf and friends that im somehow dissing you? having them and urself to discriminate me just to make urself feel good about urself? feel good enough?!

and come on, i read everyones blog whats the big deal. And just so you know, your link was found when i was close with herman back then. And then i figured you were nick's ex, and so i read. Isn't blogs fo sho anyway? I read jirah's blog too. i read meows blog, i read my friends blog, i read basirah's i read xiaxue i read emily's i read dina's i read anyone whom i seem to know. grr because it is FO SHO. Just like how you happen to read mine. Now, thats how i happen to read an entry about me.

Dear lunalulu,

Funny that my blog was always considered low profiled. And zalikha brought her friends, her bf... into the commotion. Now isnt that childish?! *Woops* i better not say that because apparently, i'll be called childish to call her childish. =__="

Childish? Immature? Haha. Maybe you should think about your dear best friend before you start saying that to me. Did'nt she HATE random girls adding up her bf in friendster? *wait, doesnt that sound just like what i've said? for hating people in general*

Come on, everyone has their own insecurities. Are you too perfect to be said that you DON'T even have a single insecurities. And please, being insecure, doesnt literally means that you are not trusting someone. It is just a feeling that is denial. And to SHOW trust, you have to put actions to it. Instead when you start being POSSESSIVE thats when you start showing that you are not trusting your bf. Why don't you ask zalikha? isn't she the greatest?

Yea, true aint it? blogging on each other ain't helping right? I thought so too. I took your advise and I'll be glad to meet her to talk to her face to face. Just wait. I might suprise her someway somehow. Trust me, im waiting for that day too. Dun worry, no physical contacts. Just talk. Im sure she'll love to meet me and my bf. =D

And to think again, i've done nothing wrong to cause all this trouble.
All i did was posting my thoughts. And im sure, my friends, my sister, my bf, my bf's friend and even AMIRA herself know that that particular post was meant for her.
I did'nt literally hate zalikha. And why must she think its her and made a huge big deal out of it and start discriminating about someone? You've got to start realising who is heartless.

Nieways, thx for ur comment lunalulu.
Zalikha should sure thank you for ur support too. =D

And dun worry, this will be the last.
for if there's anything, we'll sure meet u up soon.
wait, dun come telling me that you're not afraid of all this, thinkin that this is some warning or whatever shit. Because my intentions is for real. This is US wanting to talk to you. Blogs are so last summer. Im sure you know that.

HAHAHA! CHIDISH ACT ZALIKHA. SOOOOOO CHILDISH.
Having ur bf to said that. -__-

Gigi tak lawa pun, matair lame kau jugak yg suka aku.

Come on, i've heard a lot about you. And i mean A LOT. from good, to worst.
From nick, from fareez. Even Fareez admitted how childish you can be and told me to ignore.

So terase for what.
I could just hate things easily, just like how i have the right to hate his past.
And just so you know, his past doesnt revolves around you ONLY. Why does it bother you SOOOOO much?

4 years and more, so what?
I realised how much of a pain you were to him.
How pity that pretty face was when he utter me about how sad he was by your actions.
I've always scolded him for he is disgusted by you.
But now, i just realise how much of a pain you are too. And you deserved it.

I learnt from you, and yea *hands down*, i have to thank you, for, i realise, i will try to be nothing like you at all. Trust me.

And oh, nick wanting to talk to you and all?
Why do i see you prompting him first in msn sometimes when his at my home? -___-"
Next time, don't bother askin him to sent you off somewhere or to eat out with him, or even bother to sms him or call him. Oh wait, this happens only WHEN YOU ARE FIGHTING WITH YOUR DAMN BF.

I keep you, your dirty little secrets

I quote

“And and, kindda hate any girls who tries to make any form of connection to my bf too.

Hate his past.
All of em girls.

Its either, you regret or you live with it.
What's past has past.
And i've got the right to say it.”

That much to get one to blabber on and on for say..
seven equally “eye rolling” paragraph.
answer me this: since when does the whole world revolves around you?
because the last time i check, this post was meant for a girl called amira who has been contacting him back recently.

And, what makes you think i was disturbed by your presence.
If i had, i wouldnt have bother to ask my bf
ME: "eh look its your ex gf! Shes standing there alone. Sayang, don't you wanna say hello?"
SAYANG: "Whatever fuck for. She got no friends what, don't you know? Last time all her friends left her."
ME: "haha. tak baik sia you."
Rite when you were standing behind the group of us, just before the rain started pouring.
And come on, i know him well enough now, never will he hurt me by playing behind my back when ive done nothin wrong but to make him happy.
So why would i even be disturbed about your presence. Maybe i was just curious on how you looked like, and that could be the only reason why, i would bother about your presence.

Lets just face it, you were the one who was disturbed about my presence.
And thats why you came upon my blog and even bother to write an entry about me and him. -___-

I could be vulgar just like you do, but I choose not to.
Cause I ain’t stooping that low.
I’ve never deemed myself perfect. I have my flaws
But real beauty is skin deep

Lets just say your true beauty reveals.
All your discrimations about me, just show how ugly you can be and come on, you don't even know me well enough to even start judging on me.

Said that you’re not gonna waste your time on such trivia..
Let me show you how.

.period.

That’s how.

p/s: if he really was nothing to you, why bother reaching him on his phone, asking him of his well-being? And funny that one of those times, i was there by his side, and i was actually okay with it -____-" and come on, we all know you only find him when you are quarrelling with your bf.

-____________________________-

DUNNO WAT THE HECK DOES THIS WORLD WANTS FROM ME ALSO.

When i said leave me alone, it sure does say,
leave my problems alone too.

You're not making me any happier, when u start talking.
I just need no one to figure out whats right for me right now.
and to conclude about what i just post.

All i wanted, was a sorry. nothing more.
So pls, if you ever want to see me again,
you better stop thinking about what i'm suffering from right now.

See, that's just what i hate.
Having me to worry about other things.

And and, kindda hate any girls who tries to make any form of connection to my bf too.

Hate his past.
All of em girls.

Its either, you regret or you live with it.
What's past has past.
And i've got the right to say it.

It sucks when it comes to sunday.

"dan aku bermohon,
maafkan aku..."

everything's messed up.
everything's not right, right now.

I feel the lowest i've ever been.
Im suffering and all i can do is hide.
Im on crisis. Im scared. Im fucking scared.
I cried myself to sleep.
I wish i coould bear with everything.
I wish i would'nt have to throw it.

Im weak. Soo weak.
Im on my mood swings.
Throwing temper at the bf is all i could do.
But i did'nt mean to, im sorry.

Pimples start showing, that shows how fucking stressed i am.
Cant believe i have to go through all of this.
But im thankful that bf and sis is going to be by my side.