I can't hold on

For now, let's name him "Eye"

So today, was a day out with the girls to celebrate loga's 19th. It was a surprise advance bdae. She totally did'nt know that we were going to surprised her with a cake.

So anyways, while waiting fer loga to come, we head to the entrance of raffles city to write out her bday card. Okay, this is the exciting part of the day. Apparently, i caught a glimpse of Eye sumwhere there. And my heart skipped a lil, because apparently, eye was with another girl. I mean, i dunno who she is and all, but sumhow, im a bit jealous. Like i say, A BIT eh. And maybe, maybe i do miss him.

But its true what they say, Why should I? When i was the one who chose someone else over him? Now that's true. I mean, why the hell would i feel jealous rite when i was the one who made the decision. GAHHHHH. god is really playing shit on me. And thruthfully, i dun even know what did i do to deserve all this. Its like, God is playing a game. And when god made me choose, i choose. And when i feel like, fate told me to stay away, i stray. And now, i've ended up with absolutely nothing but more pain to bear. The point is, i play with the rule, i follow, but why all that was given to me was more pain? Yea, bullshit i know.

Thruthfully, Eye was the nicest guy that had ever stepped into my life. And he was one of a kind, the most different and rarerest guy i've ever met. We chatted almost every nite, and i know he knows my feelings for him. But not until one day i met someone else, where i foolishly thought that my heart belongs to him. And that eye was a lil too late to show that he has feelings fer me. There was a time when i was so down and hurt by someone. Sometimes, he knows i was sad and he kept asking me why. But i did'nt know how to answer. And so he asked my friend why i am lyk this. Seeing the situation was hard, i decided to stop being in contact with him. because i thought that, ignorance was bliss at that point of time. Yea, im a fool i know.

I thought that, i wanted to give it some time, But i realised that, when time goes by, I can't just get back into his life. Because, i felt that by doing so, that would probably, be the bitchiest bith ever. I would'nt want him to feel like i was treating him like a spare. And i myself absolutely did'nt want to make him one. So yea, a decision made, i did'nt want to talk to him, not until there comes a day when i feel it is right.

We still do talk in friendster. and he still do ask a friend at times on how am i doing. But still, i feel that i can't talk to him yet. and looking at the situation, i dun think i will ever talk to him ever again.

So, what im trying to conclude is that, IM A BITCH AND IM THE FOOL KAY. I admit, i am.
And he was the reason to believe that karma do exist.
Because it hits me now.

So for now, lets shuffle. Im trying yo.