f e e l i n g s

My shadow's only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til then I walk alone

selera raye!
pOsTeD bY mINah

pakcik!
pOsTeD bY mINah

yea!! hari raye!!
pOsTeD bY mINah

nenek!
pOsTeD bY mINah

cute la tuu irah!
pOsTeD bY mINah

t o m m o r o e h a r i r a y e ! ! !

yea yea! tommoroe hari raye!! can't wait... u knoe wat i can't wait?? i can't wait to get $$$ muahahaha... not bcoz i'm money minded la... but i wanna go shoppin man... can't wait can't wait! wanna buy levi's jeans... snow cap... trucker cap... black tee's... shoes... make up accesories!! haizzzz.... if i got enough money la... haha... but wat i hate about hari raye.... the first day, nak kene mitak maaf! haizz... makes me cry onli... haha... make my make up spoil la!

f u c k e d u p

been soo fucked up... haizz... especially u knoe, with my fren(erm is she?)... dunno wat too say la... it's never too late fer a change... am i rite?! but well.. it's up to you actualli if u wanna change or not... u said we are too late fer advising u... yea... i knoe we are too late... but how the fuck are we goin to tell u if u keep dissapearing frm us... put urself in our situation... will u have the chance to tell me tat i change if i keep running away from u? maybe u feel that u do hv tymm... but do feel it's easy to tell if i am ur bestest bud?? u knoe wat? i'm juz not goin to think abt this... forget our friendship... tat's it...

f u * c k e r

hmmm... let me tell u how i feel... u knoe... it's been three year's we've become a fren... yea... i do treat u as a fren... but sumtyms... u are one hell of a gerl which i dun lyk... on the 22nd of september 2004... i realise wat kind of a fren are you... u treat us lyk a spare tyre gerl... did u realise that?! yea... fuck u... fuck u! u knoe wat... i think it's true... u do dump him fer another guy... yea maybe it's rite we are the ones who spread it but hey... it's not a fuckin rumours gerl... it's fuckin true! hey bitch... tell me who the fuck who would cuddled a guy on the ferst date... and yea... u only knew him fer lyk 1 day and the next thing we knoe... u fuckin stead with him... tell me who the fuck will do that... u even told us... u think people who are lyk this are fuckin bitches... ermmm... now ask urself... are u 1? u knoe i hate minah's well... if u are one... stop entering my life... lets pretend the 3 years did'nt happen... it's such a waste of my tym fucker... if i knew who u are... man... i dun fuckin hang out wwith u fucker! u knoe wat gerl?! the worse thing is that u wear tudong! juz wear lah fucker! u are the one who told me that u urself wanted to wear tudong... so wear la... nak bukak bukak buat per?! nak ambik gamba pon nak bukak ke... u think we realli mean it when we say ur hair looks great?! yea maybe the colour does... but that fuckin maggi u have stuck on ur hair... man! u shud see it fer ur self! u knoe... u've hurt our feelingS! sumtyms we even wait fer u after school... the next thing we knoe?! u dissapeared... do you knoe how that feel fucker! it hurts! but wadever... let's call it a quit... u and us! NOT TOGETHER! go hang ard with ur fuckin new cool frens... and ouh... if after schl.. u find out unais is goin back with fairoz and gangs... dun try to find us no more... coz we fuckin hate bitches... and we fuckin hate u! so dun fuckin treat us lyk a fuckin spare tyre's fucker! yea wadever... i knoe i use to much of the word fuck... so juz fuckin feel how we are fuckin feelin! NOVEMBER 7... I WILL REMEMBER THIS DAY... WELL IF U DUN... I DUN FUCKIN CARE! BUT U SHUD FUCKIN REALISE WAT U ARE FUCKIN DOIN! FUCKER!

7 a m

woah... it's 7 am sia and yet i'm still not sleepin... haha.... all becoz i chatted with donkey's fren... fun seh chat with him... can tok craps... we even tok about sex... haha... but not too open la... tok tok tok... then play games... play checkers at first and he's so damn good in it... so i ask him to play pool... i win all da tym... muakhahahaha!! hafiz kalah! hmmm... after we played like ermm 5 or 7 times, he said he wanna take a shower... so i told him i'm gonna sleep fer a while... skali... i sleep till 3 pm... hahaha.... watever... at night, i went to causeway point with my sister to buy hair dye... i buy the colour medium intense golden blonde hahaha... at ard 1, i use the dye la... can't wait wat... and it turns out... perfectly nothin! not nothin la... got colour... but not that obvious...

D o w n . . .

todae, after my malay dance practice... i and azimah lepak kat mua block... we were tokin bout sum bitch... then i tok about what i'm gonna buy wen i got my money after hari raye... we oso tok bout donkey and garfield... haizz... i'm madly in love... haha... while tokin, i heard the sound of a skateboard... i was shocked! i ask azi if she heard it to? she said yea... but she say it was a scooter... coz there's a kid playin scooter sumwhere... i was lyk... haiz... if onli it was him... so we continued tokin... suddenly, pakistan pass us... OMG... pakistan is donkey's fren... i was lyk is he there? but sadly he's not... there's ilham, pakistan and two of their frens... "when will i see him next?" i ask azi... then we started tokin bout donkey... tok tok tok till 6.30pm... went up to my home and my mom told me we are goin to break our fast at mc d's... i quickly get ready... but i did use the computer fer a while... and i chatted with donkey's fren fer a while... i was actually goin to wear my vans shirt, but to think back i'm onli goin to sun plaza... fer what i'm gonna dress up... so i wore my pe shirt... after eating at mc d's, my mom wanted to buy things at the cake shop... as the shop was at the mrt station, we went to the mrt station la... skali... i saw this cute guy wearin a snowcap... from far, i thought it was a gerl, but lookin closer, it was a guy... and this guy, was actually with donkey... man, my heart was melting over DONKEY... although his fren were much more cuter... i dunno why i'm so attracted to him... there's sumthing abt him... when i was lookin at him, he was lookin at me... so i turn away coz i was shy... i did'nt have a chance to see him fer long... i was so freakin shocked at that tym... i told my mom that tat's donkey! tat's donkey! so my mom turn back and look at him... and my mom told me tat he was lookin at my direction... i was lyk... haizz... sumtyms, it hurts me to see him... sumtyms, i pray fer a miracle to happen... sumtyms, i even cry at night... but nothing seems to be happening...

s h o p p i n

todae, went to orchard with ila and azi after skool... haizz... tiring... coz i end up with emptyy hands... i juz could'nt find a thing to buy... went to far east and heeren... while goin towards heeren, i asw this guy with his gal... and his sooooo familiar lookin.... hmmm... still could'nt figure out who he was.... then went goin back from orchard... i told ila and azi theres sumthing on my mind which i could'nt tell themm... haha... i give them clue which was 'it ends with di... it's before a lady... and it's rolling...' haha... they were trying damn hard to guess it... but they could'nt.... so i give them no. to break the code... but stilll they could'nt get the answer... hahaha... keciann... i'm soo crazy todae.... crazy about sumthing... haha... then went to northpoint to meet my parents to break my fast...

S i d e w a l k

Sidewalk - story of the year

The bridges are crumbled,
The water soaks into rocks,
That fell at the bottom of the road. (At the end the town)
The town that we lived in.
The memories shakin apart from the weeds that grow.

Over the sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,
Sidewalks,
Like the time we thought was made for you.
Oh

Out on the front porch,
watching the cars as they go by,
Eighteen blue, twenty one grey,
Looking ahead for the first time that we could drive,
Out on our own,
To speed away

From the sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,
Sidewalks,
Like the time we thought was made for you.
Oh

All of days that past us by,
All of the sun is gone...
Away

Sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,

Sidewalks,
Running away from the streets we knew,
Sidewalks,
Like the time we thought was made for you.
(Sidewalks)
The bridges are crumbled,
The water soaks into rocks,
(Sidewalks)
That fell at the bottom of the road.

a d v a n c e t o p r o m o t e d ! !

At first... i found out i was advance.... but went i got back my report book... wow! i'm promoted.... but i failed many of my subjects... haizz... promise to do better next year... and i'm gonna prove it... hmm... well well... my parents are'nt that mad... haha... but they do complain i pay too much attention on computers... hahaha.... well wat to do...

G o d P l z H e l p M e . . .

i've got back all my results man... surprise surprise!! i fail all my subjects including malay... but i did pass my english... but i found out that i pass my overall fer my math and malay... the rest i dunnoe yet... but i do knoe that my overall for my physics, i fail... D7... man im sooo scared to take back my report book... i just dun wan to knoe that i'm goin normal next year... i want to at least go to express nxt year... but i dun care if i drop to combine science... i promise myself to do well next year.... i will pay more attention... plzz god! help mi!!!

s a d : ( . . .

man i'm so fuckin sad... all becoz of my physics and a math... todae i got my physics paper back, my paper 1 i got 20/40... i was like... k.. i hope my paper 2 can help me... when i got back my paper 2, i did'nt tend to see the marks... i flip from the back to the front... i look at it and i know i was goin to fail... so i look at my marks... i'm rite... totally rite... "I FAIL" i got 21/80 for my paper 2... man... that sux... i was like goin to cry, coz i knoe my chemistry oso i fail... i juz hope that i can pass my english and not droppin to normal... when i got back home... i told my mom "u wanna hear the good news or the bad"... then she say... "u fail ur test??" i was lyk... yes... my physics... then i told her "u saw with your own eyes i study rite..." the she was like "who ask u to study last minute..." i juz kept quiet... now, i'm scared to tell my dad... i juz hope his not gonna get real mad.... sometimes, i feel like commiting suicide... but hey.. who knoes...

m i s s . . .

Now everywhere I go,
Everyone I meet,
Every time I try to fall in love,
They all want to know why I'm so broken.
Why I am I so cold,
Why I'm so hard inside.
Why am I scared?
What am I afraid of?
I don't even know, this story's never had an end.
I've been waiting,
I've been searching,
I've been hoping,
I've been dreaming you would come back,
But I know the ending of this story.
You're never coming back,
Never... Never... Never...

I t s b e e n s o l o n g . . .

woah... it's been so loonng since i last update my blog... haha... well too lazy to do soo... durin this month, been soo busy lately with my end of year... sooo stress seh!! evrytym before exam, i will wake up at around 2 in the morning and study... till 7 then go to school... my eye bags are becoming more and more obvious... man... i'm so sick and tired of studyin... i study study study but nothin came in my mind... i have a feelin i'm gonna fail my a math, my chem, my physics, my english... all lah!! wasting my energy onli wake up evrymorning... chemistry and a math was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo damn difficult man... i cry sia... i hate electrolysis and moles!!! hate them lotS!!!! todae, exams over HOOOORAY... but what i'm scared of is, "R-E-S-U-L-T-S"...

A r g h ! ! ! s t o m a c h p a i n !

hmmm.. todae i got stomach pain seh... i onli eat yong tau foo and i feel so bloated... then call my sis and ask her to take picture ahaha... takde kerjer per... stay at home oso boring! then meet her at orchard la... i go out from home like abt 5... then walk to the mrt station la... then to reach to the mrt station, i must cross the junction... i stand la waiting fer the green man sign... i stand beside the road la... then while waiting got 962 bus ah... wa lao eh! the bus splash water on me sia! i was wet seh! malu! malu! haha... then go to the toilet and clean up la... but still a lil wet... meet my sis at orchard and walk walk... shoppin shoppin... then went to bugis village... she wants to buy the von dutch shirt... then went back home buy burger ramly at pasar malam... skali i saw syukor(zul)... kau... still lyk the same old him... but his younger bro is much more handsome than he is now... but onli that his younger bro is black... his younger bro now tall seh! taller than him i think... dunno if his younger bro still remember me or not la... coz we use to take the same bus evry morning when i was still primary school... i was in chongfu and he was in pei xin... haha...

r e b o n d i n g + t r e a t m e n t f e r 1 0 0 b u c k s

todae... woke up at 2 afternoon... beg my mom to rebond my hair... she actuaaly say no... but then i psycho her... i say if she don't want to rebond my hair i dun wanna study... haha... so she say yes! yeah!!! i so happi! first we went to plaza singapura to buy my sis her hp... but then the hp she wants was 300+ so we did not buy... penat penat jalan tapi tak beli seh... perkare bodo kan?! then went to yishun to rebond my hair... 80$ + free tratment... but since my hair is long... it is 100 bucks... so i went la... my ass hurts sitting there fer 2 hrs man without doin nothin and no one to talk to seh.... haha.... lame man... but at least i got my hair... haha... then at night danial call me... my mom pick up... my mom pretend she was angry then lyk ask him who is he la... haha... he was scared sia... then he ask me la if next week i freen or not.. he want to watch cinema.... watch wat?! a cinderella story! hahaha... funni funni... k la... gtg... i sooo sleepy!

Y e a h ! ! ! m y b r o i s b a c k . . .

yeah!! today my bro is back... haha... although i'm not close with him at least i got to see his face rite? erm... well, todae, was so tired man... got malay dance practice... new instructor... abg faizul and kak muna or sumthink lah... well.. abg faizul look's fierce... but his not actualli... well we are planning to dance 'inang' or 'enang' la... haha... so tiring... hmm... todae oso was the interview fer langkawi trip... i was so exciting at first... but then i heard nabila not goin... and summore i'm scared fer the interview... so i did'nt went fer the interview... and now?! i feel so regret la... but then nvm la... haha... hope there is another interview... but forget it if there is none... no nabila no fun... nabila is lyk the most talkative one... so without her, later there will be silent man!... haha... hmm... wat else ah... todae nothin much to tok about la... k lah! that's all!

S o w i e ! ! !

hey hey hey... sowie fer not updating yesterday... hehe... was too buzy scanning clarissa's e-math notebook... yest? wat happen ah? ermm... went to schl like usual... was a bit late... ms wong never came! yea! was sooo happi! but then she left homewerk fer us... do a mind map on venice.... but i did'nt do... muakahaha... was so sleepy seh yesterday... in class, i just clean up my desk biase ah... holidae nak datang per! hehe... tok tok wif nabila and azi... and went back home like around 5 gitu ah wif plenty of books... haha... must bring back home my books mah... becoz want to study wat... then went back home got to knoe that my uncle slip in the toilet... and suffered stroke... now he's in coma... the left or right side of his body is paralysed... wat a poor thing...

h a i z z z z z z . . . .

erm... todae... got to knoe that tarmizi got other plans... haizzz... so i go out with him onli... haizzz.... i was so so so embarrasing... k... firstly, i met him... we tok tok la... take train.. then reach city hall we take the opposite train lah... then i was holding my ear when i realise that i onli wear 1 earing... haha... the other one was missing... i was lyk "eh... maner antin2 i lagi sbelah seh?" then he was lyk... "from juz now u pakai 1 jer... i ingat fesyen baru ker?" hahaha... i was lyk oh my god... memalu kan seh... haha... then when reach bugis we took picture la.. he hug me.. muhahaha... then walk around bugis... until we reach city hall... then went to suntec we sit near the fountain there.... then tok crap! haha... then tok tok tok... until 8... then we walk again till reach bugis... haha... then we went back home... he take bus i walk home ah... haha... stupid dae man! stupid! haha.... k la... i soooo sleepy man!

a n e m b a r r a s i n g m o m e n t ! ! !

todae, teachers dae at canberra secondary... man i was so nervous lyk hell... haha... wake up at 5.30 siap siap sampai kol 6... then waited and waited fer nabila to call me... but she did'nt... i call her home and her father pick up... he said nabila still sleepin and she'll wake up in 10 mins. time... i was lyk.. WAT?! but i juz said ouh ok... haha... then rush to school then saw azimah runnin lyk hell haha... she said she waited fer nabila fer lyk 1/2 hours... haha... then we go to school togetheer la... wear make up and all.. hazirah sis was the one who wear make up fer us... quite nice la... nabila came like ard 6 45... haha... hmm, lyk around 8 15 the councillors start callin us... man ours was the ferst item... and i was nervous like hell... then when we were on stage... the ****KINg PA system played our song at the wrong timing... and i was oready startin... and it was lyk so humiliating man! HUMILIATING! then after the dance i was not in a veri good mood... embarrasing ya knoe... then went to class and there was a surprise party... and it was so damn boring.. i went to my table and sleep haha... then take pictures and all... after school, me naj and azi went to my house... fer fun.. we make-up each otha la... and took pictures haha... lyk abt 3 naj mom called my home... and i lied fer her... haha... i said i dunno where she is... haha... when they went back home... i sleep... until 7... then got a msg frm danial but unfortunately, he was offline when i woke up... i thought tommoroes day was cancelled... and i was like.. haiz.. nvm la... i actualli told shakilla and tarmizi to follow us... i nearly told them it was cancelled when he called me askin how about tommoroe... and i was lyk anithink la... wat tym? he said 4 or 5... and i was like ok... then i ask him if shakilla can come along? and he said "shakilla maner seh..." "ouh mataer tarmizi eh?" "tamizi ikot ah?" "ok la"... but now the thing is shakilla and him is nt confirmed.... tarmizi said he think about it... haiya! hope they can come along lah!... plz god!

nabila gettin ready...
posted by minah!

s l e e p y ! ! ( y a w n ~ )

HaIZZ... i'm soo sleepy... tommorow must wake up at 5.30... got malay dance ah for teachers day... todae?? hmm.. history retest was hard. i juz write all stuff that i can remember in the essay... it's all bullshit... haha... my handwriting was lyk sooo.. u.g.l.y... wonder if mr siva will can read it or not... haha... todae... he approach my class askin me if i'm free tommoroe or maybe wed.. i say la.. that tommoroe i'm goin back chongfu and wed i'll think about it... haizz... then juz now chatted with me he ask again... i sae anithink... am i doin the rite thing??! so this wednesday i'll be goin out with him... he wants to take neoprint... and i was lyk... erm... scared... coz i dun even knoe how to pose when i'm with him... haha.. see la... juz see how it will turn out.. feel like not going... but it's like cruel... my frens told me i shuld try and go out with him... coz it's like no point having a stead when u dun even talk or go out with him... haizz... they've got a point there... todae rehearsal was such a shameful thing man... the stage was small and he was looking... how embarrasing could it be... our payung clash with one another... and our dance was not at the same timing... and it was horibble man!! haha... summore mansura did'nt come... haizz... let's see how it will turn out tommoroe... feel like backing out... but it's too late... haizz... k la... wanna go and get some sleep... chaoz~!

StRessS!! HAahA
posted by minah!

M i s s m y b r o !

Haiz... yesterday sleep at around 5 seh... my eye bags are showing... then todae woke up at around 1... haha... then straight away use comp. to do my frenz column... ermm.. it's oready completed... onli left photos, links and videos page... and ouh... i created a tag board on my frenz page.. feel free to tag... todae?? my mom and my dad went to tekong to visit my brother... haiz... miss him sooo much... ermm... my mom told me he asked her who sleep in his bedroom... and my mom went "minah.. dier tido kat bilik kau sebab dier rindu kau" and he went quiet... when i heard this i cried seh... then i went lyk "mak slalu nak buat minah nangis apasal?" haha... i dunno la.. i just can't help it... haha... hate his ex for makin him hard to go through his NS... all about her.. my bro can't sleep or concentrate in his NS well... my bro has given her soo much and yet she's acting like a bitch... haizz... dunno lah eh... maybe it's my bro's fault oso... who knoes?! hmmm... it's oready 10.00!! and i'm still using the comp! haha... need to study history summore... guess how much i got fer history?? 5 i think! over 25... haha... haizz... i'm soo freakin stress man! Should have taken geography man!.. always make the wrong decision in my life... haha... k lahh!! got to study for my retest!! haha... chao!

i t s 4 a m ! !

It's 3.42 am oreadi and yet i'm not sleeping! muakahaha... all b'coz of this new template... Man... I've been doing this and creating this fer lyk 11 hours! I started doin at ard 4 or 5 pm and onli finish my diary page onli... haizz... Still got a lot's more to do... haha... ermm.. todae?? so freakin bored! haha... nothin to do... tat's why i do this new blog... Wat happen todae? well.. nothin much happened... i wake up at ard 3... took a bath... watch tv... and started surfin the net... went to anak melayu and got a sticky note from syakilla saeing "eh minah... ade budak kat skola kiter nak sound kau... tapi dier seram" hahaha... i ask her whu? and she have'nt reply... hmm.. wonder whu it is... haizzz... i realli need help man... i want to get out frm my mess... but.......... it's hard... hard to explain... how long will this end??! i feel so stupid havin this choice... shuld have said no... but then it's like i'm hurtin sumone... haizz... watever la.. dun want to think to much... so how?? my new blog?? nice?? feel free to tag when i have my tag board haha... i dunno how to put a tag on my blog la... will ask my sis tommoroe k... since she's oreadi asleep... k lah... got a lots more to do...