You're every minute of my every day

okay, i think im pregnant. NOT.
ahhahahhaha. my stomach, is getting fatter.
God, y does it hafta get bigger and smaller at times.

And do you guys know that one of the symptoms that will show you you're pregnant is by coughing. that's what i heard luh. So are you coughing rite now?! GO DOCTOR. you might be pregnant. hahaha.

So that saturday, i came to realised something about me and nick.
If we were to ever get into amazing race together, i swear to god, we'll be the last in the very first round. HAHAHAHA. and im serious abt that.
We always seem to not know where we are heading and just find our way out together.
There was once where we thought we were already at habourfront and when we alighted the train we come to realise that omg, its only, outram station. -_____________- HAHAHA.

Kay, as always, im late today AGIAN, and rite now, im having my module, digital audio and video. On filming todayyy, and omg, i swear to god, i'll make a bad actress fo sure. When i looked back at that stupid video comercial we did, i swear i look moronic, stupid and ridiculous okay. Its really stupid ok. there was'nt any script, so everything was impromptu. and i went lyk "eh! stop stop!". So now, mikal's teasing me on how stupid i was. ASSSSSSSSS. hahhaa.

Alryteeeeeeeee, class ending soon. will update soon.

Catch me when i fall.

Oh god. i've been slacking much these days.
And i reallllllllllly need to step up a lil more.
So i've realised that i've skipped twice already since the start of the new semester.
And i swear that i'll promise to myself that i'll change for the better.

Next week, no more of my miss late anymore.
I'll try my best to be early this time.
And less skipping pls! i feel shitty somehow, skipping two days when its only the 2nd week of school. grrr. All i need is a lil more motivation. I need something other than schoolwork to motivate me to go to school this time.

So here i am, at cafe galilee waiting for my dearest elia.
I could actually go to class, but its like, what's the point of going to class when you're like super late. goddarnit. I really feel like smacking myself.

And this dude working here really annoys me to the maxima. I really feeel like shaving his head bald man. irritating guy. His majorly flirting with this girl and giving her a drink when im the one who came in the line first luh. wth. That's my drink ass! Keje tu keje luh! Still can talk to the girl giving that smirk on his face. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. kalau handsome tak ape. dah lah tua. so old luh. balding summore. note to self, grow some hair first luh b4 flirting. asss. okay yea, im mean. but his just too irritating luh. can't stand it kays.

You know, i hate em who tends to judge someone without knowing anything about them. i hate that. To know one, you hafto get to know them first b4 u start judging.
Eventho someone can look really stuckup, you'll never get to know them unless you start talking to em. You'll never know that, maybe she or he could be the funniest or nicest person ever. So know em b4 you start judging. And no, im not talking about myself. I just hate it when people starts to judge luh. Maybe i do judge people too, but at least i try to know them b4 i come to a final conclusion.

And i hate em who dissed others like you think no one would bother about what you actually think when someone actually do. Just that they keep em in em'self and try to take every single disses like nothing at all. Don't get what i mean do you? so yea... just don't try to bother at all luh huh. hahaa.

Kayyyyyyy....
till then, you know you love me. xoxo
But why is it this hard?

I'll hold on

Okay, first of all im sorray for the lack of updates.

i've been fine.

So, yea, school started, everythings good so far. And yea, im lyking the past two module.
And class is great. Lots of familiar faces, like my best bud in pri schl, mikal... Kwan yong, who forever seem to play with my hair -_- zi wei, jessamine, nithiya and all... i made new friends too... joey, rashidah, wardha, praseetha... And for the second day of school, i was already called "drunk girl" by this guy, whom i seem to not know his name yet.

I guess, all the modules should be okay for me luh, But the sound of IT SECURITY kills me.. GOD! stupid me for not choosing the module i wanted. And oh, thats tmr's module anyway. i soo dun look forward to it luh. but its okay, preets gonna be in my class, so yey fer me!

FYP really scare the shit out of me. And what more? with a supervisor who seem to be not responsible at all for his own students. Like, hello? we set up a meeting, and your own supervisor stood us up, like, wth kan.

Okay, i just got back from town and now im tired.
And imma head to bed.

you know you love me, xoxo.

:'(

It hurts. And what's strange was that, all along, its what i've wanted.
and im not sure if im ever doing the right thing.

Its funny how i cried. Im crying because im losing a friend, and i guess this friend is what i call special. I hate the feeling tho, it's like, im lying to myself. But i've been thinking about it so long ago. I told myself, this would all happen, only if we were to spent our time to go out again. And we did. I thought, it was time to tell. and i did. and it definitely seems like it is the right time.

But funny that, it was'nt me who started the ending. All i did was questioning, and It was you who said everything like it was going to end. That definitely reflect, that you sumhow dun bother at all, maybe. But u said, u said, Don't cry, don't go. And a part of me wanted to stay. But i tried so hard, and i cant move on. I need to move on. I want to.

I really thought yesterday was fun, and i wanted more of that, but, i don't think we'll ever do it again. It just hurt sumtyms to look at you when u left me with all those confusion marks in my head. You need to be in my position to understand myself.

You want to be friends,We can be friends, and that is the reason why im doing all this. i need you to give me some time, to get over you.
And when that day comes, when i can really take you as a friend, and that i'll never bother about your sweet words.
then i'll talk to you. you know that.

im really gonna miss you. i do.
im gonna miss everything.
and god knoes, why the hell am i still crying rite now.

I can't hold on

For now, let's name him "Eye"

So today, was a day out with the girls to celebrate loga's 19th. It was a surprise advance bdae. She totally did'nt know that we were going to surprised her with a cake.

So anyways, while waiting fer loga to come, we head to the entrance of raffles city to write out her bday card. Okay, this is the exciting part of the day. Apparently, i caught a glimpse of Eye sumwhere there. And my heart skipped a lil, because apparently, eye was with another girl. I mean, i dunno who she is and all, but sumhow, im a bit jealous. Like i say, A BIT eh. And maybe, maybe i do miss him.

But its true what they say, Why should I? When i was the one who chose someone else over him? Now that's true. I mean, why the hell would i feel jealous rite when i was the one who made the decision. GAHHHHH. god is really playing shit on me. And thruthfully, i dun even know what did i do to deserve all this. Its like, God is playing a game. And when god made me choose, i choose. And when i feel like, fate told me to stay away, i stray. And now, i've ended up with absolutely nothing but more pain to bear. The point is, i play with the rule, i follow, but why all that was given to me was more pain? Yea, bullshit i know.

Thruthfully, Eye was the nicest guy that had ever stepped into my life. And he was one of a kind, the most different and rarerest guy i've ever met. We chatted almost every nite, and i know he knows my feelings for him. But not until one day i met someone else, where i foolishly thought that my heart belongs to him. And that eye was a lil too late to show that he has feelings fer me. There was a time when i was so down and hurt by someone. Sometimes, he knows i was sad and he kept asking me why. But i did'nt know how to answer. And so he asked my friend why i am lyk this. Seeing the situation was hard, i decided to stop being in contact with him. because i thought that, ignorance was bliss at that point of time. Yea, im a fool i know.

I thought that, i wanted to give it some time, But i realised that, when time goes by, I can't just get back into his life. Because, i felt that by doing so, that would probably, be the bitchiest bith ever. I would'nt want him to feel like i was treating him like a spare. And i myself absolutely did'nt want to make him one. So yea, a decision made, i did'nt want to talk to him, not until there comes a day when i feel it is right.

We still do talk in friendster. and he still do ask a friend at times on how am i doing. But still, i feel that i can't talk to him yet. and looking at the situation, i dun think i will ever talk to him ever again.

So, what im trying to conclude is that, IM A BITCH AND IM THE FOOL KAY. I admit, i am.
And he was the reason to believe that karma do exist.
Because it hits me now.

So for now, lets shuffle. Im trying yo.