it hurts. to see sumone close to you cry.

I FEEL REPLACED. Stop messing ard with my heart. i hate what im going through rite now.
Yesterday, i actually wish i could get sick. and now. i think i seriously am sick. my throat, it hurts like hell. my voice, sounds different. gahh! and there's jam n hop tmr in RP. hopefully i won't get down with high fever osumthink tmr. hopefully, it's gonna be fun. but i bet it's super boring fo sure. The other time they had retrorock night. it was'nt as fun as i thought it will be.

Im skipping schl tmr i guess. Remember that tym when we went to esplanade, and we tossed a coin into the river and made a wish? Why would'nt god grant me that wish and made me sick instead? =(

But i know if i could do it over I would trade, give away all the words that i saved in my heart that i left unspoken

HAH. stupid

Went out to gombak just now. was tapping my ezlink card when i saw my aunt. after all those greetings and all, then she went lyk, "How do you get here?". STUPID QUESTION AIN'T IT?! hahaha. Sometimes i have no idea why the adults have this tendency to ask stupid questions. I should've ans, "oh i took the aeroplane ah. jet lag btol!" stupid. ahhaha. obviously, u saw me tapping my card. obviously i took the train lah! ahhaha.

Then there was a tym, my mom, epy and me visited my aunt who was sick. She called her before hand to tell her that she's coming la. Apparently my aunt was alone at home. So my mum rang the doorbell. When she open the door, she looked pretty tired, guess she just woke up osumthink ah. then my mom said one ridiculous sentence. "Oh. u look really sick. u should'nt have open the door. just continue sleeping next tym" ahhahahha! isn't tat stupid. how could she just ignore sumone outside when my mom already called her and stuff saying that she wanna visit her. bodoh.

ok so just now, i was queueing up for KFC 3 piece chicken meal. then in front of me was this 2 bangla mens. my... i feel so sad for them. i mean, they were treated lyk shit. i dunno why, but i just can't help it when i see people "tsk" at them. gosh. poor thing ok. they don't even know how to speak english. so dun blame them for being slow.
but sumtyms, they are just too irritating when they start staring at other people with this supicious look. i hate them for that.

ergh.

coool

It's cool.

=D

time is up

grrrr

I just realized that when I’m tired or I’m sleepy, I can get very high at times. i'll get CRAZY! Okay, I think I dance way too much in class. I even dance during presentation?! wth. hahhaha. been showing off sum move to liana and I can't help myself but to laugh. We’ve been laughing and singing our ass off in class. I’mmm soooooooooooo tired! I even overslept in class. At the point of time when i woke up in class, nobody was around except for liana and joanne. and i asked liana, "why did'nt you wake me up earlier?", she said "i did, but u continue sleeping". gah! and i didn't even realise that she woke me up?! i must've been super tired.

I didn’t even slept yesterday night. I was watching one tree hill all the way. The last episode definitely got me to tears. Sad. My, can I have Nathan Scott for my birthday? Is his dad a fireman, because he’s just too hot! Gahhh! Haley gave birth to a son, awww. Hayley keeps getting prettier every season. My… their relationship is just too cute. And they make Aminah so jealous and touched by them.

I’m sorry to rush ya’ll, my friends. I’m just super duper extra tired and extra sleepy today. So yea, that explains that impatience I have in myself. Aite, I’m off now to sleep. Goodbye lovelies. May I dream of you tonight! Hoh!

dreams.

i had a dream yesterday. i dreamt that, i past away. i did'nt remember how i died. but it just happened. but my soul still lingers in this world. i came back home, thinking i was still alive. i saw my mom and dad crying, but they could'nt see me. i tried as hard as i can to get them take notice of me but i could'nt. then i heard their conversation saying how much they misses me. so, at that point of time, i realise i'm dead. i cried and i cried. suddenly they realise i was there. they saw me like how they normally could. but they could'nt touch me. and so was i.

sumhow, i don't know why, i could use the computer. hahah. and then i chatted with people i know from the net. and i told him,"hey, im dead". and he laughed. he thought i was kidding. i tried my very best to convice him that im dead. but he still think i was joking. ahahhaha. who would'nt?!

then, i went to see my cousins, again the same thing happened. they could'nt see me. but after a few moments, i dunno y again, they could see me. ahhaha. and so they wanted to take pictures of us together. and i happily posed for the camera. but apparently i was'nt in the picture. =(

So next, i met my aunt and uncles, i went up to them, again, they could only see right through me. but it took them a feww moments to see me.

and then we had family outing to vivo's cinema just to spent the last night with me. i was so happy that i could act invisible for a few moments. and so, i told my parents not to buy tickets for me, since i know i could act invincible for a few min. when it comes to the ticketing booth, i was laughing my ass off at my whole family for they have to pay to get in. when it was my turn to go, they stop me and said, "miss, ticket plz." ahhahahahhaha! WTH.

and then i did'nt know wat happen, i was just too hot, air con was off, fan was off, i was sweaating lyk hell. so i woke up.

WAT A NONSENSE DREAM!
AHHAHAHHAHHHAHAHHA!
at least i woke up smiling today. hahahhaha.

There's no point in pretending =D.

I hate this website called 'google'.
Yesterday was really a tiring day for me. Sat in long john, and started crying due to the tiredness. Yesterday's lesson was really hectic since KY had to leave early, and the team was down to 3, we really had trouble filming. and i realise i would make such a bad actress. But afterall, i had fun with these people in my class. they really made my day.





saya cinta kamu semua!! saya tidak mahu berpisahin sama kamu semua. =(
and of coz, my first sem's classmates too.

My charger's aint working again. dammit. irritating uh. can't stand it when my things keeps dying off on me.

Why do i wake up every morning, feeling the same old shit all the tym? being sad. but don't even know why the hell am i sad. But few songs made my day today.
'mimpi'. it was the first song that stole my heart away.
'dance with me'. thinking, reminiscing about those days. the dance, u danced. fun, funny and enjoyable. i laughed =D
'salam rindu'. that dedication. hah. i miss those tyms.
ur friends. my cousin. haha. strange. we're close frens. but it seems we're just too close. was just browsing thru my old CDS anyway. In fact his the the first netfren ever to meet. and i came upon those songs. depress i was after u graduated. you left me hanging and came back into my life a year later and apologise trying to get back on track. but sadly i chose a decision that i thought was right at that point of time. but we still were in contact but just as an msn friend till now. this happens yonks ago anyway. 3 years back?

but that's not the point. the point is, why people leave?
and they come back whenever they want to.
it's only the matter of time.
and it hurts.

anyway, it was definitely a shock to receive a msg from him saying he saw me at cwp.
it has been yonks since we last met, and im surprise u still have my no. the first thing that came out from his mouth was "i knew it was you when i saw the vans shoe" hahaha. wth. and just a song could remind me all of this. ain't it funny?

I hate it when i tell myself, not to fall for anyone but eventually when sumone did open my heart, i accidentally fall for them.
I hate it when people say things but they dun mean it.
I hate it when i feel like a fool.
but mostly, i hate myself for not opening up.
I don't blame them. but i blame myself for it.
im just... too afraid to fall.


Am i the saddest girl in the world today?
knowing something i should've not know.
Oh boy, find me a locksmith who could find the key to open up my heart.

freaky?

im supposed to start on my sisters wedding invitation card. but i got nothing in my mind right now. so i find it hard to even start designing the card. i need ideas to start. but i've got no freaking idea. and all thx to her for not being cooperative enough and giving me this stupid job to do.

have you ever had sumones picture, whom they sent it to you. and u realise that there's sumone else in the background? my point is, do you know that, ya'll will never know that, that sumone in that background could be sumone u would fall for next? So now, look closer in every of ur pictures. coz u'll never know u'll fall for the person in the background instead of that person in focus. now, go look! look! maybe that bangla in that pic of urs could be a part of ur life too. eh u'll never know u knoe. ahahhaha! i was shock to see sumone i know in the background of sumone's picture and that the person is sumone i know now. strange eh. *NO NOT BANGLA!* ahhahahha.

and that reminds me of a quote from one tree hill.

"You ever look at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you, how many moments of other peoples lives have we been in, we're we a part of someone's life when their dreams came true, or were we there when their dreams died. Did we keep trying to get in, as if we were somehow destined to be there, or did the shot take us by surprise. Just think, you could be a big part of someone else's life, and not even know it." ---> one tree hill

Anyway, was bloghopping, and i bloghopped to aqila's blog. she posted some pics of MY FEET! wth kan. hahah. and yea,






































its normal la!! sum people could do this tooo la. now u're weird!

i feel so stupid rite now ah.
i don't even know what i want anymore.
sumtyms, knowing the truth hurts.
but i keep seeking for the truth.
but it hurts. so wat's the point of hurting myself?

boreee

Today's a definite bore for me. So, urm, what i did? i sleep. and i sleep. and i sleep. gahh! i woke up ard 430, then i had my bath. eat. and watched, taiyou no uta. while watching, i fell asleep again. hah! so i sleep till 10. And, rite now, the time is 7 in the morning and i can't sleep. Been editing and exploring photoshop from just now. Finally i knoe how to manipulate it to vintage colours! anyway, im thinking of changing my blog skin. Soon. I can't seem to stop listening to blue and yellow now.

anyway, here's more picture of yest.

photoss

today, skipped class. but had to go to school to meet uli and pass his cash. and oh. saw firdaus and i feel so mean for holding onto his charger for so long. orang msg tak tau reply. hmmph! org dtg on thurs, die tak dtg. hahaha. so not my fault ah! okay, so i had fun taking pictures with loga elia and nurul. sadly mira can't be with us uh. some otha tym aite we go click click pictures with all the 5 of us. anyway, here are some of the pictures.








































updates later.

ahhh. i get the picture now.

fed ex

hahha sumthink funny.




where's my clark kent now?!
plz plz plz save me from my misery.

asssss

first things first. i dun like it, when sumone invades my privacy. today, woke up, i got 1 msg. from eliane. and then. i realise, the previous msg b4 she sent, was read. WTH! So. the point is, who read's it!? who else?! my mother la! ERGH! she keeps reading my inbox sia. and i hate it! I HATE IT! I dun mind she reads it. but the least she could do is to tell me that she read the one i did'nt. Dun u just hate it when sumone reads it b4 u do?! and what's irritating is that, after she reads it, i'll ask her. "DID YOU READ MY MSG?" then she will say "No i did'nt". Then, i will ask "who reads it then?". She'll reply "not me." IRRRITATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dun lyk it when people rushes me when they really want me to be there for them.

and i dun lyk the feelings im having rite now

THE END.

im moody now. dun talk to me about me plz.
i do wat i want as long as i feel what's right fo me and what's best fo me.
so yea.

cause i had a bad day.

I think, today is my bad day sia.

Okay, lets start from the morning. did'nt manage to sleep well. my lips were bleeding non-stop and my face was itchy due to that stupid biore cleanser. Slept around 5, woke up around 640+. And so, this morning, late as usual. Missed the bus, had to wait for the next one. sat at the bus stop listening to mp3. when suddenly a strange 30+ year old chinese man stopped by with his car and came up to me asking for direction.

At first he went like "miss, do u know the way to sembawang mrt?" then i went lyk.. "uh... it's just there to the left. u can see it from here" then he asked "how about admiralty MRT?" Obviously he's nuts. Just follow the track la bodoh! so i said "just follow the track, it will lead you to admiralty MRT station" and so, he said "ohhh. ok. where you heading?". i told him "school". then he asked, "Do you mind leading me the way?" then i did'nt know what to do. so i told him "err, u just follow the tracks, it'll definitely lead u to admiralty mrt". and then he asked again "perhaps u could lead me the way?" then. being too nice, stupid aminah went in his car.

till then, suddenly i had this thoughts. 'what if he's here to kidnap me siak', 'what if he rape me or sumthink'. on the way, he stop at this junction, trying to turn to the right side. then i said, "oh straight" he said "maybe i could send u off fo schl?" then i said "oh just go straight. u could drop me of at admiralty mrt. i could just take the mrt from there." so he went straight. then he asked for my no. siaa. WTH. i wanted to give my dad's no. but i did'nt. my mind was just too stupid. i can't lie for nuts. as soon as i see 965 there, i quickly got off his car and run for the bus sia.

what if i never came back sia?! what if... i got kidnapped, murdered or sumthink. gosh. i did'nt even have the tym to say sorry to my parents sia. if he bring me sumwhere i dunno, i swear to god, my psp would fly straight to his face sia. even when he's driving. i rather be dead then to be kidnapped okay. gosh! FREAKY SIA. why am i too nice ahh!?

then reached schl, realised my stupid charger spoiled la. ergh. and now my father is blaming it on me. THX EH. that made my day.

wat if the next few days that freaky guy is there at the bus stop sia. gosh. im planning to take mrt now. ergh.

okay sumthink made my day just now. and now, im feeling the blues again. wth. sometimes, i wonder to myself. why am i so down? why should i be? why does my mind kept thinking otherwise. i should'nt be. everyone in this world are living a lie anyways. never ever believe in anything what people say because not everyone mean it.

breathe. just breathe.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

IM FREAKING COLDDDDDDDDDDDDDD uh.
i forgot to bring my sweater.
and i never wore any earrings today. GAH. so empty.
and yet im late to school!

have u ever went into the lift, like with a friend of yours, and when u reach to the level u intend to go out, there's tonnes of people waiting outside. Waiting for you to get out of the lift so that they could go in, and all of them were staring at you? FREAKY LA! ahhahah. lyk want to eat people sia. I looked at everyone's expression. Semua muka boring sia. hahahhaha. funny funny.

Right now, im at school doing web multimedia. For todays topic, we must create a storyboard on how do we want to make an advertisement on promoting your own instant noodle.

Aishah : "how do you separate instant and noodle ah?"
Jun Wei : "put a space in between la."

HAHAHAHAH. funny ah jun wei. imagine ah. if u had spiderman promoting your own instant noodle. spiderman normally shoot webs right? but ur spiderman shoot noodles on one hand and the other hand shoot out the soup. thennn in your ad, u have spidey shoot noodles in everyones mouth. COOOL SHIT! hahahhaa. imagine ah!!!!! funny sia! spiderman's face serious serious then shoots noodle sia! ahhahah. k crap. CRAP. hahah.

Do you know that, last week, me and classmates went down to 7-11 to buy some stuff. So liana decided to buy a big gulp. grape to be precise. she filled 3/4 of the cup when she realise there were ants in the freaking drink. MANY of them okay!! gosh. disgusting sia. I always buy big gulp recently. imagine if i were to buy and i did'nt realise there were ants in my drink. And i just drink it! EWWWWWWWWWWWW. SEMUT SEMUT SIA TEKAK AKU! hahahahhaa. ergh! jijik hamba!
I kindda think that ants are starting to love me la. ok la. at least im loved. HAHA. kasihani la hamba ini. wth. hahah whenever i leave a cup of drink in my room and left it there for 1 hr osumthink, ants will come out of nowhere ah. irritating at tyms ah.

yest, i had nothing better to do, took pictures with sister.
kindda pathetic to say this, but i seriously don't know what i'd be without her.
plz. this is all bullshit pose aite. so yea. mind the picture.

IS THERE ANY MEE IN THIS WORLD CALLED, MEE SOSAD?
I got the receipe if u want.

ok. now i feel lyk watching movie ah. =(
anyways, sumthink i'd like to share.
my first semester class. kindda miss this people la! tho i still am sticking with some. i really do miss the others. And im too afraid to leave w66c. GAHHHH!!!!! i love my class now.

ada cinta.

aku pernah menonton sebuah filem,yang pesannya bilang, bahawa jika kamu mencintai seseorang, maka kamu harus mengatakan yang begitu saat itu datang. kerna kalau tidak, maka saat itu akan pergi begitu aja. dan ia tidak akan pernah datang lagi. lalu, kamu akan menyesal.

manusia memiliki mimpi, ada yang mengejar dan mewujudkannya,ada yang mengundur dan membuangnya,ada pula yang diam dan hanya menyimpannya sepanjang sisa hidupnya.dan aku, aku akan menjadi manusia yang terakhir itu

pretty pretty

im thinking of colouring my hair...
should i... highlight it to maroon? lyk...

or shall i streak it to ash brown?

courtesy of : http://community.livejournal.com/madradhair

smallville

ehhhh!!! cloe's a meteor freak~! she got powers la sia. i want hers! a tears that could heal anybody. haiii... saddening la smallville's ending. at least, lana's dead. i want her to be dead! hopefully, she's really dead in smallville! hahaha! haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

sad uh. nothing to do uh. bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored. i got ready, and plan was cancelled. so yea. ergh!

aminah = hopeless

Okay. currently, Aminah, seriously needs some cash. But she does'nt wants to work. How eh?
GO ROB A BANK MINAH!, I WISH! hahhaa. sadded. but nehmind. all she needs to do now, is to control her freaking temptations. Looks like she have to starve in schl and not going out aft schl. Haiz. but then she still have a LOT to get on her wishlist. nehmind la. soon la.

I'm beginning to slack. i've been skipping first meeting in schl. and that resulted with a 'c' for my daily grades. goshhh. im just plain lazy to go to schl nowadays la. but what to do. My PP got accepted, and i don't even know how to start. ergh. I've got UT coming up tmr, and yet, i haven't started revising. all the best to me ya!

Anyway, made my sis sad today by telling her i bought pots and pans on her bdae. hahhaha! she was really dissapointed. WHY IS EVERYONE SO SAD TODAY?! nurul, u log off just lyk tat? dun be sad okay. we're on the same boat remember? i know life can be a bitch at times. but cheer up okay?! just don't give up on what u want even when people tell u so.

Now, i'm just not so sure anymore. I'm just a fool, i guess.

Anyway, sorrry Anna, Azi and fennie for ditching yall on fri. I'll make it up to yall soon aite? I kindda missss going out with all of u la. it's been yonks since we last went out. SOON SOON OKAY! =)

Do you know that, nicole richie is expecting a baby of joel madden?!
and hilary duff is seeing nicole's ex-bf?
GAHH. hollywood is soooo high schl.
I need to go threadin. my eyebrows a mess.
oryte for now.

whats better?

Those Yesterday's Feelings

Those Yesterday's Feelings

im the saddest person in the world today.
i knew things were rough lately.
im pretty sad and bumped when u said what u said to me.
im sad. strangely, i cried. u did'nt know.
because u did'nt know those feelings i had.
maybe u did'nt felt the same way i did.
and again, my fault for not opening up and telling u how i felt. sorry.
i need time. but u did'nt gave me enough. but again, i understand.
whenever im with u, i feel joy.
i feel things that i never did for so long. thank you.
i was so afraid to fall for u. but u made me fall by accident.
i was afraid to get hurt. but i appreaciate it.
i knew this was going to happen i predicted it.
but i tried my very best to avoid such things. but i just... could'nt.
i mean, what's the point for me to hold on when one wants to let go?
when i had to go out with the other one, i found guilt.
when im with him, i think of you. you're everywhere to me.
why? why do i feel this way? i tot i was falling. but im sinking now.
i wish u could read this. but i know u won't.
i wish things are not meant to be this way. but it already did.
i want u to know, what i felt. but it's just too hard for me.
wat's with me seriously. is it that hard?!
gosh. I HATE MYSELF. i never knew i would blame myself. but i did. and i should.
too little too late, minah. you're just too late.
but. i understand. i learn sumthink out of it. at least.
it happens all the tym. i understand and im okay.

am i stupid?

You're Pretty Stupid

You got 5/10 questions right!It's probably time to get your head examined. You hardly know left from right.

Are You Stupid?

taken from mira's blog
saadded.

tired. but i have to study for tmr's java UT. ergh!
suddenly, im sooo moodless.
he's been giving me C! ARGH! #$#$%@%#$@%$#@$#!#!#!@$#$#@!
dun feel lyk going schl tmr.

can i not be stupid?!
can i just stop schooling?!
can i or will i ever find a job?
can i find peace?
can i stop my mom from nagging and stuffs?
can i be independent?
can i be somewhere out of singapore myself?
can i not feel the way i feel rite now?
can i not be who i am rite now.
i hate me for being who i am now.
i seriously hate myself.

im sick and tired of feeling the same shit all the tym.
but im holding on. use to itt anyways.